What I Heard Was Different

by Sandy Hancock
April 5, 2012
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Reminder that there is a monthly drawing for a $25 gift card. All you have to do to get your name in the drawing is post a response to any April blog by May 1st,making sure to leave your name or email address so we can contact you if you win. You don't have to be a member of NCCS to respond. The gift card will be from Amazon.com.
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This is almost the end of my first year of not homeschooling after 26 years of doing so. I wondered all along how I'd feel at this point. Now I know.
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I worried that I'd realize I did not need to homeschool and that I had somehow denied myself an easier path. No on the first one; yes on the second one. Yet, I know now that I would not have changed that pathway for the easier one.
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I am happy to see that my youngest is flying on her own just as her two older siblings did. She is making friends, learning good stuff, and prospering in the university setting. Yes, I am as proud of her as I am of her brother and sister. Different pathways were followed by each child, but the results are very, very good.
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I had the pleasure of working with my youngest this spring as a coworker, who actually now knew more than I did in certain areas in which we worked. She grew up in my drama world, but now knows more about some areas than I do. It is good. Even better, it was fun to have such a companion.
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I am not writing this to brag; I am writing this to encourage parents. Many voices may harp on you that what you are doing is unnecessary, that you are wasting your time, and that life could be easier. Don't believe it. You will not regret homeschooling when you actually get to see and enjoy the fruit.
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I do realize how very important it is to have several voices in your life about your homeschooling. It helps to be provoked to thinking about the choices in lifestyle, curricula, discipline, spiritual things and all that you are making. It is good to say, sometimes, why this and not that. That's part of the value of being a member of a homeschool school. In small groups of social life, you will find that one voice dominates and tends to make the others feel they need to do it the Dominating One's way. My experience is that those small groups tend to be composed of folks who become so like-minded that they cannot see errors that erupt and grow. The neutral outside voice helps.
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Another advantage of being in a homeschool school is that, as your kids get older, the advice you need to seek is there, well-seasoned from many experiences with many people over the years. Stability helps in making important decisions.
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I have heard it said that "the advice the office gives differs depending upon who you ask and when." Guess what? It's true. This happens because of two very important reasons.
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First, the educational world is evolving rapidly. The legislature can't seem to avoid tinkering with things that have broad consequences they have not foreseen. Sometimes, a year later, they play "take back" because their plan didn't work. The result is that, yes, the rules change, sometimes a lot. Also, the development of more and more computerized curricula and other methods changes things.
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Secondly, we tailor our advice to the family and student as we know them. Family A may have a mathematically gifted student who can handle a high level of mathematics and mathematically-based subjects. We tell them about those things. Then Family B, best friends of Family A, comes in and their student is not so good in math, and, in fact, he/she hates math. Mom and Dad have also admitted that math is impossible for them as well. For that student, it would be pointless to say, "Technically, B could take the math track that includes Calculus just like A is doing, but ha, ha, ha, B doesn't have the ability, so feel bad." What point is there in discussing curricula that doesn't work with a student's abilities and learning styles and direction? It would be senselessly cruel or just boring for them.
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Privacy laws forbid us to tell you that student A is better/worse than your student so they need different advice or vice-versa. We can't acknowledge the possibility of that difference, and we may sometimes appear to stumble when, in reality, we are trying to say something without betraying the confidences of the other family.
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Even within the same family, student #1 has different abilities and interests than student #2. We take those things into account when we decide what advice to give on courses to take and curricula to use.
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From the outside, if you are looking for a one-way-for-everyone approach, it may look like there is no uniformity in office advice. Guess what? It isn't uniform. It is tailored. That is why so very many of us became homeschoolers, isn't it? To be able to select the individual work that was needed for a particular student to reach his or her own destiny is the essence of home educating.
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One must also realize that there are 4 broad categories of destiny for all students. Some will go into the military. Some will be ready for a 4-year college experience. Some will need the extra academic support provided by the community college experience. Some need to graduate and go as directly as possible into their chosen vocation. No way is better than another for everyone.
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Within those 4 broad areas, there are tons of variations. Even the Majors Brochures we publish say "example of ….year" because there are quite a few ways of setting up each year, depending upon the family's situation (financial, logistical, social, spiritual) at that point in their history, their student's situation and needs, resources available {like site classes} and the abilities of everyone involved. Even knowing which church you attend can change our advice, because some curricula may not fit well with the beliefs of some denominations. Our advice is better to the degree in which you feel comfortable to be open about your situation.
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That is why it is difficult, and indeed to some degree can be wrong, to compare your students with each other and especially with those of other families. That is why it is important to get advice from people who have known you for as long as possible so that they know the whole story as much as possible.
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The staff of New Covenant is here to serve you individually. You should feel free to ask questions of why this and not that, but also realize there may be privacy issues that keep us from discussing other families'/students' plans. Indeed, these are some of the good things you pay to receive.
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Give us a call. We'd love to help you. Email or call or come by: whichever is better for you works for us.