Giving Them Much

Announcing: All those who read and post a reply to the Principally Sandy blog entries for November will have their email name entered into a monthly contest for a free item, usually a gift card to a national establishment, such as Starbucks, McDonald's, Barnes & Nobles, Amazon, etc. You get one entry per blog that I write that month. If your name is drawn by one of my compadres in the office, we will email you to find out how to send you the card. One post per person per month per blog entry written by me. If you have questions, email me at SANDYHOME@aol.com, subject line "blog question." Emails do not count as blog entry replies. Let the November contest begin! If you want to know when a new entry has been posted, become a follower. {see directions in the right hand column.} Responses without names will not be entered in the contest, though they will be published.

Congratulations to our October Winner - Erin Nugent

Sometimes the toughest lessons to teach our children are those we are just now learning ourselves. I was reminded of this today. Someone donated a book to the school, and it happened to be one of my favorites. It was Eugene H. Peterson, who has written many of my favorite books, and it was called A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. As Bonnie picked it up from the box and showed it to me, I said profoundly, "Ummmmmm." (hear a slight crescendo in that)

In my head, I heard myself saying, "Oh, yeah, that's what's going on!" You see it is a very hard lesson to learn, being obedient for a long time in a direction specified by whomever you are following. In American culture, it is becoming, in fact, virtually impossible. Our attention span is decreasing yearly, I would bet. I know mine is. I find myself getting truly upset when a download takes what seems like a long time, then I count silently and realize it probably took only 25 seconds. Not nearly a long time.

So a long obedience can mean obeying for months or even years. Paul became a Christian, and then it was 10 years of studying and working in the desert villages before God brought him out to shine before the world. I can't imagine doing something for ten years, and it surprises me to realize that I've been doing this school principal thing (and homeschooling my own kids) for 25 years now. Wow! When May of 2011 comes, I'll be able to say at graduation of #3 that I completed one long obedience in the same direction.

In the same direction means not getting distracted (okay, maybe overly distracted) from the task at hand. It is really hard these days. Seeing the goal so close makes you want to think about the next stage. That distracts you from where you are, and then you are likely to get onto a rabbit trail going off to the side or even giving up the race because someone offers us an ice cream cone (more pleasurable thing). We must guard against it. Finish well!

So how do we teach our children this important task, how to keep a long obedience in the same direction? I think we have to break this down into several tasks.

First, the obedience part. This starts young, and, if you have missed doing that, start where you are. It will be harder, but it can still be done. Remember that God gave your children parents because He wants to teach them to obey by giving them someone they can see and touch and hear to obey so that some day, they will make the transition to seeing and touching and hearing to obey their heavenly Father. Scripture says, If you can't obey the one you see, how will you ever be able to obey the One you can't see? So teach them to obey.

That includes obeying when they don't understand why they have to do the thing. After all, they are sure they know better. I have found it helpful to remind them, "I said obey and do this thing. I didn't say obey and do this thing if you think it is a good idea."

And that brings us to another of the tasks. We must teach them to follow. You really can't know if you are a good follower until the person you are following wants to go in a different direction than you do. Until he goes to the right when you think it would be better to go straight, you don't really know if you are a follower or just accompanying them for a while. God has given you to your children for them to learn to follow you. That's direction. Sometimes, yes, they have to do it the way you said, even though they may see what they believe --- rightly or wrongly --- is a better way. I want the math done this way. I want the spelling done first, because I know the plumber is coming later and I won't be able to assist with spelling later. And guess what? I am under no obligation to tell them why. In fact, if I want them to know how to react to God who rarely ever says why before His people obey, then I better make sure there are times when the answer is "That's what I said to do." Sometimes I don't even have to give them an answer at all. How many Bible characters got an answer every day? As far as we know, many received one instruction that was supposed to last a life time.

Then there is the "long" part. That means teaching them patience. It sometimes means planning long activities for them to complete. It means staying with a task until it is truly done, even if you are tired or hungry or hot or cold. It means finding peace in the midst of doing something beyond the point that it is enjoyable. It means learning to finish a task before getting to play. It means being unpopular with your children many times. That's why Scripture says the kids will rise up to call you blessed. They can't rise up, unless they have been sitting down in protest. It's like me teaching my new puppy to come on the leash. When he doesn't want to come, he balks, he protests, and he finally flops down and tries to ignore me. I, on the other hand, keep walking, and he better rise up and follow. Then he'll get to the good thing that I can see farther ahead, because --- like an adult --- I look further ahead to see what's in the distance. That's wisdom. You can't get wisdom from being smart or fast or strong or young. You get wisdom from living life for a long or longer time. That's why Scripture says the glory of youth is their strength. Not their wisdom. Wisdom is you.

The final task is to put all these elements together. The student must patiently obey the one he/she can see, even when they see no point in doing it the way the leader wants them to do so, and continue the project for a long time.

Even as I write this down, I begin to further understand that ahh-ha moment I had when Bonnie showed me that book this morning. I see what's been happening in my life, in America's life, in the church's life from that higher perspective. If I can help my children learn this lesson, through the sometimes long days of homeschooling, I will have given them much. Uhhh-huh! That'll do!
**{Note: I am not talking about oppressive, heavy-handed discipline. I'm talking about a thoughtful, wise inner strength.}

October Blog Response Winner

We had our drawing for the $15 gift card for those who posted a response to this blog, Principally Sandy.

Each response got one entry. The lucky winner turned out to be Anonymous who posted the following entry on October 25, 2009. If it was you, please email us at SANDYHOME@aol.com no later than Saturday, November 7, noon. If we don't hear from you by then, we'll go to the number 2 drawn name.